Online dating losers
I was holding myself back, I was playing up certain parts of myself, and playing down other characteristics, all so I could be more "desirable." I became who I thought I was supposed to be, not who I was.
I acted more way casual, and less emotional than I really am.
However, after partaking in my own dating experiment, during which I went on one date every night for a week, and two dates on Friday, I finally reached my ultimate conclusion. I want to preface that for everything I say, I know there are a ton of people who will disagree, and have the relationships to prove it, but as I ventured into and out of the virtual dating sphere I found out a lot about myself.
Additionally, I know my experiment might sound extreme, but I needed something extreme to happen for me to really give it up once and for all. I Was Bored If you've ever been on any of these apps, gay or straight, you know that most of your hunting, swiping and searching is done when you are bored.
There are rules, directions and even moments asking if you'd like to chat, or "keep playing." They say don't hate the player, hate the game, and that is exactly what ended up happening for me.
I hated the game and playing only made me like myself less and less. I Wasn't Honoring My Truth Going off the idea that these things are a game with rules, I quickly found myself changing who I was to best "win" at the game.
I tried everything from tindr, to Jswipe, to grindr, to every other word that is missing an "e" in it.
All of a sudden you're bored at work, bored at home, bored with your friends, bored at the gym. Life just isn't as exciting as you want it to be, and the thought that maybe just around the next swipe is the person you've been searching for all along is exciting.
You can't help, but think, "Damn, where have you been all my life? If by some crazy force of nature you guys do set a date and meet, chances are he is not who he claimed to be, or who you built him up to be.
His confident demeanor is replaced with one that is far less interesting, and not having the phone as an easy buffer shows you a much different person than the one you thought you had been chatting with.
One of the hardest things to do is look in the mirror and be honest with yourself because there usually is a lot of sadness, confusion and disappointment.
However, when you finally admit this to yourself, you take the first step to changing all of that. It Made Me Crazy Thinking about who I could meet, having numerous conversations with multiple people and trying to keep up with all of it was exhausting.